If you’ve ever been in a chat room or discussion furoms, chances are you’ve been asked if you were a top, bottom, versatile top or versatile bottom. These descriptors not only reference sexual roles, but represent the behavior in gay relationships. Some gay men prefer to identify themselves by these labels, while others prefer a more loose interpretation of their sexual preferences and relationship roles.What do these labels mean?
- Top -The dominant partner in a gay relationship.
Often used to describe the penetrating partner during brokeback mountain (hihihi). -
Bottom -The passive partner in a gay relationship.
Often used to describe the partner who is penetrated during anal jerjer. -
Versatile -A versatile gay man enjoys a shared dominance in gay relationships. They are comfortable being the dominant partner, passive partner or both. During sex, versatile men enjoy being either a top or bottom.
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Versatile Top -A versatile top is comfortable with a shared dominance in gay relationships; however sexually, enjoy being a top more than a bottom.
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Versatile Bottom -A versatile bottom is comfortable with a shared dominance in gay relationships; however sexually, enjoy being a bottom more than a top.
How do you know if a person is a top, bottom, or versatile?Despite the many stereotypes and generalizations about gay sex, there is only one easy way to find out your potential partner’s sexual role- ask him (of course, at the appropriate time)! Keep in mind, however, that some men prefer not to label themselves
Why are you being asked to label yourself?
Unlike the traditional generalizations of sexual compatibility in straight relationships, when two men are involved it is difficult to determine sexual compatibility before meeting. For instance, if a guy prefers to bottom (or be penetrated) during anal sex, then he will more than likely want a guy that prefers to top.One again, there are no absolutes when it comes to each individuals sexual preferences. Some men use these descriptors as a mere guide, while others see them as a necessary piece of information before sex or dating.
How to ask your partner about his sexual preference. Most men in chat rooms or message boards choose to explicitly ask if their prospect is top, bottom or versatile. Non-verbal signals were used to disclose their preferences but are rarely used today due to the internet and the ability for gay men to communicate and meet in other non-threatening environments.Ikaw what are you?
yeah, i learned those terms when I was still 17. I didn’t know what top or bottom before, so when I was asked before, I didn’t know what to say until I figured that out after watching m2m videos… haha… somehow the labels are useful… but in long term relationships, switching roles are very common and natural. I was bottom at first, but my boyfriend became curious why I love being fucked… so he asked me to do it on him… then we alternately switched our roles later then.
i agree with you macky. there had been previous confusion about the preferences or better said as roles in bed by the third kind, “our kind” (hihih)! i must admit that i sometimes switch the labels of being top or bottom! in contrary however, i was once B but now T. for a change of course, a proof of being versatility!
keep updated
One of my gay friends has always been a T. And his funny anecdotes are nothing short of, well, funny! Haha. But I also have a friend how’s a full-fledged V. He says he can’t be gay if he ain’t versatile in all sense of the word. But then again, what matters most is that one enjoys what he does regardless of where he’s at. My first time here. Hope to visit again here there and everywhere again soon.
Ooops, please edit, I meant “But I also have a friend WHO’s a full-fledged V.” Thanks.
I am straight, so sorry if that is a really stupid question… but I wonder: Isn´t being a strict “top” almost the same as being straight? I mean with dim lights and doggy position this to me looks like normal sex. So doesn´t the “gay” aspect become almost theoretical? Couldn´t you replace your partner with a girl, and still be happy?
(kind of fascinated by the whole topic…)
Nino, using that logic then being straight man (I’m assuming), dimming the lights and the doggy position with a man for you is the same. That would pretty much make you a Gay top. Yeah, I suppose that would work. Just exclude all other sensory information. Good luck with that.
This only proves the gender is not just supposed to be thought of as being binary (i.e. male and female). Those “labels” exist because human sexuality is such a complicated thing.
me? always,always ..a bottom.because only then i feel like a babe who enjoy a hard fuck by a strong partner.always a bottom ,enjoying cross-dressing and wearing ornaments and applying lip stick to please my MAN.
Hello my name is Merle Dean Shamblin and I would like to be your new friend. I sure could use somebody to chat with. I am a 47 year old long haul truck driver who currently lives in Duncan Oklahoma. Dec 8th 1960 I was born in Fairview Oklahoma. Moved to Caddo and Washita counties where I attended school at Colony Hydro and Weatherford. My parents Malvin and Wanda Shamblin were cotton and peanut farmers. Dad died in 99 from lung cancer. Graduated from SWOSU with a business degree. My two sisters are LaDonna Hubert and Malva Burrahm. Dennis is my brother. I have been a truck driver for 14 years and have driven 2 million paid miles. I have received many safe driving awards over the years. I am single and have never been married. I have a wide range of interests and am pretty much an open book. Currently I drive a 2006 Freightliner for a major carrier. I dont go to Canada very often. I dont have a dedicated route so I run the entire lower 48. I enjoy reading cinema music sports travel etc.
pls. help me naman. bi ksi ako. 19. never pang npasok sa isang relasyon.ipinakilala sakin ng friend ko na bi din ang inpirasyon ko ngaun, si mark 27 though hindi obvious na un ang edad nya. slim type ako ksi payat, maporma at muka tlgang lalaki. 2 days pa lang kmi ngkktext ngkta kmi agad sa isang mall.. after nung pagkikita na un sweet sweetan kmi ng mga txt kinagabihan, tapos kinabukasan ngkita ulit kmi at nanood ng in my life. nag enjoy kmi at sa bahay sya n2log. something happened, alam niu na un. mgkayakap kmi buong mgdamag at nrraramdaman kong mhal ko sya. and then after that sinabihan ako ng friend ko na prangkahin ko na si mark at sabihing mahal ko na sya which is totoo nman tlga., nag unli call si mark para daw sa kin. sinabi nya sa kin na parang ngmamadali daw ako. sbi ko ndi nman,.tapos nung after ko mgtapat sa knya parang naglylow na sya sa kin. ramdam ko un at nasasaktan ako., gngwa ko ang lahat para mging kami pero parang nrramdaman kong iba na ung pagsasama namin., sa ngaun , 1 week plang kmi magkakilala.. pero tlgang mahal ko na sya., ano po ba ang tama kong gawin?? pls help me nman po.,.
hello., ayun ang hirap pa din ng kalagayan ko., 2 weeks na kming mgkakilala ni mark., knina 2mwag sya skin sbi ko my itatanong ako sa knya, ittnong ko sana kung kaya nya ba akong mahalin pero di ko nlang tinanong sbi ko wag nlang baka mpressure ka lng., tas aun sbi nya no matter what pwede nman tau mging friend diba? sbi ko nman while laughing ” i hope i can” tas aun., ewan, di ko po tlga alam ang gagawin ko kasi mhal ko n tlga sya., nung una ksi sya ung ngpapahiwatig skin, sabi nya i hope we can be good friends if posible more than that., pero ngaun sya nman ung super cold skin. nrinig ko sa friend ko na bestfriend nya, kinokorner daw xa ng ex nya., haist., pls. help me nman po., itutuloy ko pa ba to??