Confused, bothered and restless.
These are the things that bests explain who I am at the moment.
Its been a while since i havent posted anything personal on my blog. Not even a glimpse of how interesting my past days was nor how sensitive i was for the past days and weeks. My brain was empty as always and my thoughts were shattered. I dont know when to laugh or cry, to live or die…
Life is so dull. Its no longer colorful and exciting. The sun is no longer smiling at me everytime it rises its rays over the horizon every morning. The tidal forces of the moon and the sun does not conform with my mood. They always contradicts mine and they always won. These forces may soon change as days passed by but the struggle “within” will always repeat itself like nightmares even in the deepest of my slumber.
I know i should seek some psychological attention. My theories and knowledge in behaviour modification had never been helpful when I am biased at times. I would be like a stupid moron if i’ll give myself some reinforcements whenever i achieved or failed on something. Positive reinforcements is not working anymore. Punishment is not working either when i knew when and where to stop if pain is too much!
I could hardly define myself at the moment. Am sorry but i need no mercy, sympathy or attention. I need to recollect and contemplate in this battle called schizophrenia! Chozzz!
edgar allan poe kaw ba ni? unsa inyo giinom nindot lage ang entry hehehe makainom ra gud ana hehehe peace sis!
tutut ba to? hehehe barkada ko taking medicine na rin for some serious anxiety attack according to psychiatrist nya. Baka masyado ng stress ang life ngayon hehehe nyways, literary piece man to or serious, lets celebrate sanity by enjoying life!
Hmmm… Yeah, I am also perplexed if this is serious or not… Anyways, indulge me as you always do…
Why not try rechanneling those depressive energies to something positive? I always believed in searching for that one passion.
So what is your passion? What do you think about in moments of happy solitude? And please don’t say “boys”. (joke!)
Once you find your passion, invest in it. And by investing in passion, you also invest in inspiration…
Be well…
Its just part of the normal cycle of depression. We are in the depression months (august to november). which usually occurs to people who are aware of their inner dynamics. These are also the months where most seminarians and nuns-to-be gets out voluntarily from the formation because of the inner crisis they are experiencing, which apparently will vanish instantly once december kicks in. No scientific explanation for that except the fact that our hormones in the hypothalamus (seat of our emotions) are unstable because of the changing climate that occurs during august to november in transition for the winter season. stay calm and recollected. You are still normal. it happens to everybody. it just depends on how a person knows himself kaya madalas di nasasabi ng ilan kasi di nila alam na depression na pala pinagdadaanan nila. Normal ka pa parekoy.
bwahahah bluepanjet. sumakit ang ulo ko,
sabagay pedeng seasonal affective depression nga yan, kaya lang matagal mo na yang nararamdaman eh. heheh. bipolar na yan teh.
pero kidding aside, sorry mare if i made you realize how fucked up your life is,
consolation ko na lang, at least i made you realize something has to be done. tama na ang denial natin, lika bili tayo ng prozac or better yet, valium.
mare, dont worry im just here as you go through the waves of emotions. it wont be easy i tell you, but it can be done,
when i was your age,( tangna parang lola na talaga ako) i had to go through the same thing alone and i said to myself i wont let this happen to someone i care about. to go through life not knowing if somebody cared.
so you’re not alone, you’re my pet so i care. (bwahahah)
inuman na yan~
have u been consulted a physician to diagnosed your condition? ahhhh u need some rest!
hehe alam mo naman ang pinayo ko sayo tungkol dito di ba?
mahirap ilagay dito at baka sabihin nila, nuknukan tayo ng bastos.
schizophrenic k?. . .
prang dun sa beautiful mind. . .
bka akala mo, nagseserve
k s isang top secret org ah… lol…
tama nga yung sabi ni bluepanjet…
weather can be the cause of our depression…
sa ibang bansa nga may nagpapakamatay pa dahil dun…
Aww.. i think kailangan mo ng someone na maiiyakan..
ahu ahu.. hug*
naramdaman ko na rin ‘yan before, during my identity crisis*? (Kuno)
nyahahaha (walang maingay) , wala ako mapagkwentuhan o mapagsabihan nun.. I attempt suicide pa nga. Adik lang.
isang araw may bumulong nalang sa’kin “enjoy your life”
hummp..
dati nga.. kahit anong patambling-tambling ang gawin ko sa kwarto ko may mga bagay talaga na ayaw kumawala sa isip ko.. may pagkakataon pa nga na hindi man ako ngumangawa, nararamdaman ko na lang na kusang pumatapak luha ko. Hindi ko alam kung emo lang talaga ako or what.
Pilit akong nagfocus sa work, pero wa effect, mas lalong bumibilis trabaho ko.. at pagtapos nun.. balik uli sa isang sulok.. ka-emo no?
ayun.. hanggang may dumating.. nakakatakot lang baka maiwan.. ganoon pa man I accepted the fact na lang, na walang permanente sa mundo..
generally… enjoy! sayang ang Life, sayang ang oras.. malay mo wala ng second life, kung mamatay ka ng nakasimangot.. natural lang yan! magiging maayos din ang lahat..
Hala! comment pa ba ‘to.. blog entry na ‘to ha.. nyahahaha..
yeah \m/
I guess we all have our own dosage of “insanity” that we have to tolerate.
Nyahahaha.. natawa naman ako dun… per line talaga ang sagot* parang nag-uusap lang hehe apir*
walang sekretong di nabubunyag (yun lang) LOlz..
nyahahahaha!!
asus! may eksplanasyon bigla ang depression chorvah na in fairness, napi-feel ko rin ngayong panahon na itu! salamat naman bluepanjeet! tatakbo na sana ako sa pinakamalapit na parlor para manghingi ng gamot pangkulot eh…pero hintayin ko na lang ang disyembre na bday month ko rin…
at ikaw naman girl, normal lang naman pala yan. huminahon ka na lang muna at itigil na ang paghahanap kay Basilio at Crispin…ahihihhi.
I need to recollect and contemplate in this battle called schizophrenia! –> hala! may ganun? ahehe. cge gamutin mo sarili mo at psych grad ka naman. hehe.
chillax ka nga lang dyan
nagenjoy ako dito.
ang kulit lang.
u da man!
kumorva naman ang eklavu ko sa chorva mo. kyora na mu sa to the highest level mong I.Q. super explanation to max over a bridge of troubled waterfolls….kiber kung di masyadong getz me, english k’ze!!!! in fernes, na feel ko ito. truly in all honesty. my emotion. my pinaghugutan!!!!!
ano kaya ining hinugot kablog? luklukan ng keverloo….!!!!!chenelyn ….=>